


The Journey Home

by justanoutlaw



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s07e13 Knightfall, Fights, Gen, Parent Wishverse Captain Hook| Detective Rogers, Sacrifice, The Jolly Roger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 18:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw
Summary: Killian has freed Alice from the tower, with his heart in tact. That doesn't mean that Gothel hasn't found a way to poison the father and daughter against one another.





	The Journey Home

**Author's Note:**

> So, tonight I was rewatching Knightfall and I couldn't stop thinking about the scene when Alice finds out that Killian dueled. It's such a tiny moment of betrayal and anger, that's quickly masked because then they are separated. So, I began to think...what if they weren't separated? What if Killian had to face the consequences of his action in a different light?
> 
> Then somehow, it turned it over 3,000 words and a lot of angst.
> 
> Much thanks to killianmesmalls for her encouragement and help with this fic. The scene on the deck of the Jolly Roger was their idea, so much kudos to them.
> 
> There are mentions of Gothel here and what she did, but they're not talked about in detail as I'm still not sure that Alice knew who Gothel was at the time or that she was her mother. So, just a head's up there.

She was mad at him and he couldn’t blame her.

 

Gothel had shown up before he could destroy the tower and he drew his sword, ready to give his life if it meant Alice’s freedom. To his surprise, Gothel was okay to let them go.

 

“I’ll always be able to find you, Captain,” she had taunted, a smirk tugging on her lips. “Your daughter, too. I don’t need this tower to keep an eye on you.”

“You’ll never lay a hand on her.”

“No, but perhaps one day she’ll come to me. After all, her father is nothing but a fool.”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” Alice interjected, puffing out her chest in pride. “He’s a good man.”

“Not good enough.” She looked from him to back at Alice. “Your father went on a little detour because there's more important things to him than his daughter.” Alice’s head whipped around to take in her father’s guilty face. “He fought a duel for his precious honor.”

 

Killian had seen Alice upset before, but never like that. There were tears building up in her eyes and she looked so betrayed. He knew she had every right to be angry with him. That duel could’ve stolen him from her, it could’ve left her locked up in the tower, alone.”

 

“You didn’t come right back,” she said, softly, her voice shaking. “You promised me.”

Killian took a step forward. “I only stopped for a moment, I swear.” He reached for her hand, but she yanked away from him. He bit down on his lip, feeling a pang of guilt take over his heart.

“You stopped because you’re weak and your pride mattered more,” Gothel said. “But go ahead, break her out of here. I can find another way of making sure that you two are separated.”

 

With a flourish of her hand, the witch was gone again. Alice stared at her father in disbelief for a moment, before turning to her bedroom area to pack up her things. She didn’t say a word to him as he tried to talk to her, she kept her back turned. He let out a sigh and packed up his own bag, making sure they had enough provisions to make the trip. He had arranged with Smee to get passage to a new kingdom. Apparently it was run by a fair and kind ruler, Queen Eudora. They’d be able to have a fresh start.

 

He had to hold her as he broke down the tower, but she was limp in his arms as he did so. Once it was destroyed, she wiggled free from him and stood there for a moment. In a flash, she was taking off her shoes, followed by her stockings. It took him a minute to realize what she was doing.

 

She was feeling the grass beneath her toes.

 

She looked around the area, taking in the woods and the fresh air that touched her skin. Looking up in the sky, she could see the moon and the stars, they seemed so much further away. He could’ve stood there for hours, watching her take in what she should’ve already known. However, there was a schedule to keep and he could show her everything in time.

“Starfish,” he said, softly. “We have to start walking.”

She was quiet for a moment and when she spoke, her voice was at a level he had never heard before. It wasn’t exactly yelling, but it was almost as if she had some sort of attitude. “Where are we supposed to go? This was our home.”

“I’ve made arrangements for us to go to a nearby kingdom. We have to be at the docks by morning so your uncle Smee can give us a ride there.” He smiled a bit at the thought of his best friend. “You can finally meet him.”

“Whatever.” Alice thrust her feet back into her shoes, stuffing the stockings into her bag. “Which way?”

Killian blinked a few times, knowing perhaps he should lecture her about how she was speaking to him, but he figured he could let it slide for the moment. “Follow me, love.”

 

They spent most of the walk in silence, with Alice stopping every now and again to marvel at something or another. Killian realized that as much as he had described things to her or brought leaves, dirt and the like into the tower, there was nothing like experiencing it firsthand. He’d never understand how it felt to really experience all of it for the first time, most people were babies as they grew accustomed to it. Alice was 11 years old and had missed out on so much.

 

They took a break when they were at the halfway mark to get some rest. Killian had made a friend in his travels to and from the village, who had always said their door was open. They set up the spare room and Killian of course let Alice take the bed, while he would be settled on the ground with his sleeping bag. He watched as she walked back into the room after changing, wearing her nightgown. She slid underneath the covers and he walked over to tuck her in, only to have her pull away. A frown fell across his face.

 

“You don’t want me to tuck you in?”

“That’s for babies, I’m not a baby anymore.”

 

He tried to tell himself that she was just angry, that the hostility would go away. Still, the words pierced his heart. Knowing better than to kiss her forehead, he instead kissed his palm before setting it on the top of her head.

 

“I love you, Starfish.”

 

Silence.

* * *

 

They woke up the next morning as soon as the sun peaked in the sky. After a quick breakfast, they were off on the trail again. Alice still didn’t say anything, she kept her eyes forward and kept adjusting her pack.

 

“I could carry that for you,” Killian offered.

“I’m fine.”

“Love…”

“I said I’m fine.”

 

He sighed and she stopped to get a drink of water. He looked around and found some wildflowers nearby. He plucked a few and held them out to her.

 

“Peace offering.”

Alice looked at the flowers, then back up at him. “Did that work on all the girls you dated? My mother, maybe?”

 

The snide remark about her mother was enough to make his stomach turn. She still didn’t know the truth, about Gothel or how she was conceived, any of it. If he had it his way, she’d never know. All he told her was that her mother wasn’t the best person and was part of the reason why she was locked away. Still, it was enough for him to retreat the flowers.

 

“You know, I know you’re angry with me, but I’m still your father.”

“You didn’t seem to remember that when you dueled to show your honor.”

“Alice, you don’t understand. I was weak, I needed to prove myself…”

“Well, what about me needing a father? If you had died, I never would’ve known. I would’ve been trapped in that tower for the rest of my life, not knowing what happened to my papa.” She shook her head. “You can’t just make that go away with some flowers.”

“Love…”

“Let’s get going. You said Smee’s leaving by midday.”

 

Another hour and they reached the beach. Alice took off her shoes once again to feel the sand in between her toes, smelling the ocean. She had spent all her life hearing stories of it, but getting a first glance and smell, seemed to brighten her mood, even if it was just a little bit. Killian went off to talk to Smee, letting her enjoy it.

 

“She looks happy, Captain,” Smee said.

“Yes, if only she were with me.”

Smee tilted his head. “You two are fighting? You and Alice never fight.”

“I wouldn’t call it a fight. More so, she found out about my duel. I broke my promise, I nearly died and for what?”

“You wanted to prove yourself.”

“And it just might have cost me my daughter.”

 

As he finished loading up, Alice walked over, introducing herself to Smee, who wrapped her in a big hug. The rest of the crew was excited to meet her, having heard countless tales about the daughter of their dearest friend.

 

Being on the Jolly again almost took Killian’s mind off everything. He knew that Alice was well taken care of by Smee as he showed her around and he was able to relax on the top deck, doing some long overdue sailing. Being back at the helm of his ship, the wind in his hair and the sea salt swirling in his nose brought him back to his youth. He wouldn’t trade the life he had, not for all the journeys he could have on the Jolly. It was time to make new journeys, with Alice.

 

As soon as she actually heard him out, that was.

 

Eventually, the rest of the crew came up to the deck and they took turns sailing. It was interesting to see just how little had changed over the years, while some had. Smee had taken over as the leader and he was a natural at it, the men respected him and he spoke of a lady friend in Eudora’s kingdom. Killian was quite proud of the life his friend had built for himself.

 

At the same time, the crew also seemed to hold him in high esteem. While they went to Smee for orders, they looked to him for help too. It was beginning to boost his ego, in all the worst ways. He knew he needed to keep a level head about himself, his pride was what caused the current predicament that he was in.

 

Alice stood by the edge of the ship, looking out at the waves as they crashed in the sea. Killian walked up behind her and placed a hand on her back.

 

“Would you like something to eat?”

Alice pulled away from him, rolling her eyes. “So, now you care about me.”

 

Her snark was loud enough for some of the crew-including Smee-to hear and they all gave him a look. The Captain Hook they knew would’ve never stood for such sass on his ship, he was the leader, he demanded respect.

 

Maybe he wasn’t the leader anymore, but he felt like he had to prove something. He was still Alice’s father and he did deserve a level of respect, even if she didn’t like him very much at the moment.

 

“Alice.” His voice came out firm, much firmer than it had ever been. Some of the anger vanished from her face and her eyes widened a little bit, though she tried to shake it off quickly. “I don’t care if you’re mad at me, you will treat me with respect.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Killian’s muscles tightened. “No, not whatever. You know what? I know that Smee set aside a bunk for you below deck. I suggest you go down there. Now.”

 

Alice looked up at him for a moment, almost wondering how serious he was. Sure, she had always tested limits and there were times when he had to be stern, but it had never been this serious. He hated how serious he sounded.

 

He hated how much he sounded like his father.

 

Still, he stayed firm and Alice finally turned on her heel, storming down the steps to the bunks below.

* * *

 

Instead of heading to the bunk that had been assigned to her, Alice went inside her father’s. She had barely looked around when Smee stopped to show her, not really caring much about her father’s former life. She could now see it, in all its glory. After hearing about it for years, she got a firsthand look and it was just how she pictured it.

 

She noticed the bed in the corner, which made her frown just a bit. She thought about the fact that her father had spent nearly a dozen years sleeping on a tiny hammock with little complaint. There were times when he’d get out of it and crack his back, causing her to be concerned. However, he’d just smile and wink at her.

 

_“Your papa’s getting old, Starfish. Don’t worry, I’ve slept in worse.”_

 

He had a bed on the Jolly, an actual bed. Around the rest of the bunk were some of things, more things than she had ever seen him own in a lifetime. When she asked about his treasure, he claimed to have sold most of it, saying the only treasure he needed was her. Back in the tower, she never lacked for anything. She had toys, books, a chess set and art supplies. Sure, he had a few books to read and he enjoyed chess as much as she did, along with painting, but he had really left a lot behind.

 

Alice plopped down onto the bed and saw a leather journal poking out from the shelf next to it. She knew she should respect her papa’s privacy, but she also had a feeling she was going to be down there for a while. He was upset with her and as much as she wanted to claim that was unfair, she knew she had pushed a limit.

 

Flipping open the journal, she read all about his adventures through the different lands. She had heard most of the stories before, but these were a tad more explicit. He bragged about the different things he stole and the women he fancied, though mostly he spoke of all the beauty he got to see.

 

She tried to think if she had ever seen him writing in a journal back in the tower, only to realize that he probably didn’t have to. There were no adventures. For 11 years, his life had revolved around her. The tower seemed to be enchanted to provide them with enough to get by, but he’d leave it every so often to get more things. That was the only time he had outside human interaction. Alice always envied her father for being able to leave, but now she realized that he wasn’t much less a prisoner than she.

 

He had given up his entire life for her and never once complained.

 

Maybe he had been selfish and stupid, but it was the first time he had gotten a chance to be in a very long time.

 

Alice’s anger was still there a bit and she still found him foolish, but she suddenly felt guilty for feeling that way.

 

Sticking the journal back in its place, Alice hopped off the bed and padded to her bunk. She needed some time to think.

* * *

 

They docked in Queen Eudora’s kingdom a few days later and Killian was surprised by Alice’s change in attitude. She still wouldn’t speak to him much, but she’d answer his questions without bite. He tried to talk to her about what had happened on the upper deck, not that it did much good. All she did was promise to be respectful.

 

Once they bid farewell to Smee and the rest of the crew, they made their way to the cottage that he had secured. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it had two bedrooms and was close to the village. Alice would be able to start school soon, actual school. Killian taught her all he knew, even if it meant teaching himself a few things, but it would be good for her to get a proper education.

 

He stood in the doorway, watching her unpack. It had been interesting to see what she had chosen to bring along. Most of her toys had stayed in the tower, only a select few stuffed animals and dolls had come along. It dawned on him that she hadn’t touched most of them in over a year. She was growing up, her childhood slowly coming to an end.

 

Her art supplies were set up in one corner and she hesitated as she pulled out the chess set.

 

“We can put it in the living room, if you like.”

“I’m not used to having so much space,” she muttered. The tower had only been one room and while Killian had put up curtains to give it a homelier vibe, it still was nothing like the cottage.

“You’ll adjust.”

Alice nodded a bit. “Papa?”

“Yes, Starfish?”

“I’m sorry.”

He blinked a few times, unsure if he had heard her right. “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. I…I’ve been unfair to you.”

 

Killian let out a deep breath and walked into the room.

 

“No, you haven’t. I was selfish and stupid.”

“You were, but…you didn’t get to be for a long time.”

“What do you mean?”

“You had a whole life before me and you gave it all up. You spent most of your time in that stupid tower, never once complaining about having to take care of me.”

“And I never will.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Al. I will never regret having you or resent taking care of you.”

“I saw and heard about the life you had before I came…you gave up everything for me.” Tears clouded Alice’s eyes. “Why?”

“Because that’s what a parent does for their child.”

 

He pulled her into his arms and she hugged him tightly for the first time in days. He rest his chin atop her head and shut his eyes, relishing in the warm embrace.

 

“I’m sorry, Starfish,” he whispered. “I never should’ve gotten into that duel. I guess I felt like I had to prove something.”

“To them?”

“To myself…and to you.”

“To me?”

“I wanted to prove that I could protect you.” He sighed, stroking her cheek. “I spent so long trying to break you out, but I couldn’t, not for 11 years. I felt like I had failed you, like maybe if I had been the man I once was, you could’ve had your freedom sooner.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You did all you could.”

“If I had gone for Maui’s hook sooner…”

“We can’t think like that. It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? We’re together, we’re free.”

Killian softly smiled. “Aye, Starfish. You always see the world in such a unique way.”

She smiled a bit herself. “I love you, Papa.”

“I love you too, Starfish.”


End file.
